A few weeks ago, I finally officially graduated. Truth is, I have graduated since last year and have even started working as a teacher for 8 months. However, my convocation was much later for reasons that I do not know. Anyway, this little event in my life has made me pondered so much of what life has to offer. In this blogpost, I am sharing a little bit of what I have always thought and gone through in the period of studying in the college. It was rather a roller coaster ride, if I must say. This post is very personal to me as I share events in my life with all of you. I hope you can learn something from my story. 😊
Rewinding
6 years ago, I went into a teacher training college by my mother's encouragement as she's a teacher as well. To be honest, teaching was not that I wanted to do in life. I always thought that it was not my forte but I obliged to my parents. My mother helped me to apply, filled me all the forms and even brought me to places I should go to like taking pictures, taking signatures and etcetera. I also applied for MARA which was scholarship for 'budak pandai' (if you are Malaysian you would get it), but as expected, of course I didn't get through lol. I did well in my final year public examination in high school, but wasn't good enough to even get the interview. Besides that, I also applied for public universities just in case.
A month later, I got the offer for TESL in UiTM and I almost packed my pillow and bedsheet for it. The very next day, I got an offer from IPG (Institut Pendidikan Guru) and kid you not, my mother was overjoyed! Of course, I went for the IPG since my mother told me that the job would be guaranteed. I agree. As now, I didn't have to wait long till I got my posting!
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| IPG in KL (2012) before we moved to a new place. |
A few months in IPG, I was depressed and I didn't like of whom I was becoming. I didn't have friends. I expected too much from my friends and I ended up always being alone. I was confused and I even saw a counsellor and my lecturer that time. This one story, I have never shared with anyone, ever. During that time, I wished to quit but for the sake of my parents, I continued. My best friends; Nawwar and Mira also helped me a lot during my depression phase. I survived my foundation years. Alhamdulillah. :) I also had a very nice roommate; I would say the nicest roommate I have ever had! Dija was always comforting me, and it was the sole reason I hated leaving this IPG when we had to move.
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| my best friend Nawwar 💕 |
Over the holiday in December 2012 going to my first year of degree, I took Mandarin classes and made some wonderful friends. I still remember their names which are Syaza, Mohan and Rose. I am not close at all with them but I always looked forward for the classes. I looked at life differently and realised how lucky I was to be a teacher trainee! I didn't want the classes to end. I loved each class and did rather well for the beginner Mandarin test.
The next year, I slowly picked up and I managed to befriend some of my classmates and batch mates. I guess it was a renewed spirit after moving to a new place in Negeri Sembilan. Here, I even made friends with some seniors whom have had given some tips to be a teacher. One of the seniors was surely kak Khai. Hi kak Khai, if you are reading this! 💝
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| my new IPG in Negeri Sembilan (2013). |
The year 2013 was one of the best years in my life as I also went backpacking solo around Europe. I met my Austrian/Albanian friend, Paige in Austria. It was so lovely and I felt home when I was with her. It was a journey that I would never ever forget! I could never thank my parents enough for giving me this opportunity that I would remember for the rest of my life, inshaAllah.
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| Paige 💖 |
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| me in Austria (excuse for the face! 😂) |
Realisation
The realisation knocked my head, albeit late. In the early 2014, I still didn't feel grateful of being in IPG but my life was better. I still didn't have many friends but it didn't matter to me and I didn't think much. I mostly spent my time taking photos, reading and watching movies. In a nutshell, I minded my business. I also became very close to Christine who firstly became my jogging buddy. She is my best friend until today 😊 We had many conversations together and we clicked so so well.
In 2014, I also joined choir; well it was half forced! 😂 But it was an amazing experience. Countless of practices. Indeed, I realised that it is one of the valuable experiences as a college student.
The rest of year was a breeze. Except this one time when I fell in love and my heart was broken. This situation was dragging until the end of 2014 but in a few months, I was blessed. In 2015, I met a guy who loves me that no one else ever does (except my family). I am ever so thankful that God crossed our paths because I almost didn't believe in love again.
In 2014 too, my heart finally opened for the teaching profession. I volunteered to help a friend for a teen camp and it changed my perspective ever since. I started to love teaching and helping pupils/students. Thank you, Afifah, for this chance.
Mistakes or happy accidents?
2015 to 2016 was a time where I made a few friendship mistakes. Even though it was in the past, I still get thoughts about it. At this point, I was utterly depressed and didn't want to see anyone in my college for the accidents I encountered. However, this one guy helped me making it a little bit easier. My best friends Joey and Christine were always making sure that I was alright.
As my friends in college said, I didn't have friends. Maybe they were true, but I didn't care. I have a few and that's enough for me. I have a family who keeps reminding me; especially my mother and my sister; they are truly gold in my life. I have my significant other who would always make sure I am doing okay. I survived my final year despite many many incidents happened; as I said, what a roller coaster ride!
All these mistakes I have done, I now call them 'happy accidents'. Even though they are not that happy, but God surely wanted me to learn something from those 'happy accidents'. Today, I am mindful of what I listen & to whom I share my thoughts to. And no, I would never blame anyone for what happened because I believe each thing happened because God wanted us to learn something & tell I deserved second chances.
Of course, when I fell, some people took care of me when I was at my lowest. Kak Ngah, Joey and Christine, you are forever, in my heart. 💖
The death of my best friend
My furry best friend, Niki died right after my final paper in November 2016. I was planning to clean my room in college first, but dear Lord, I drove my car to home. He was my best friend since I was in primary school! When I was happy or sad, I always talked to him, as if he understood me. I cried, because I lost my best friend whom I knew he loved me so much.
I miss you Niki.
New friend
In late 2015, a tiny furry friend came to my house. He came looking terribly sick. He was bitten by a dog as there was a hole on his neck! My heart couldn't take it. I brought him to the vet and treated him. Now, he is healthy and cheeky! Coco, made my loss of my best friend a little better. He understood that I have lost my best friend and when I was grieving, he came sat beside me. He also made my final year in college much more cheerful.
Looking forward
Now, I have graduated. I am so thankful that I passed my depression phase, got a degree and become a teacher! Instead of frowning and being stressed, from now on, I will always count my blessings. 😊
Frankly, thinking about future sometime is definitely scary because I could never know what is going to happen next. Life is amazing. Life has so much to offer and sh*t surely happens but I will get over it eventually. In a year or so, I probably have married and my take on life would be different. One thing for sure, I will keep always learning and looking forward 😄 InshaAllah.
These college years in a nutshell; amazing! Yes, despite of everything bitter that I have gone through! I want to say thank you to each and every of my friends in IPG who had to deal or dealt with me, helped me in the slightest and probably had motivated me in any way possible. I probably do not mention your name here, but believe me, you helped me. And I want to thank you for that. 😚
To my parents; thank you for raising me up and never giving up on me,
To my sister; thank you for motivating me and inspiring me to become as diligent as you are,
To my brother; thank you for teaching me to become patient,
To my teachers & lecturers; thank you for always giving me what I needed, you guys are truly rockstars!,
To my best friends; thank you for comforting me with your jokes and waking me up with your insights,
To my friends; really, thank you for being there, even being there told me that we were all struggling but just with different struggles,
and
To my love; thank you for believing in me when others don't and for always pushing me to become a better version of myself.
Thank you for reading! 💖
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| 💖💕💓 |
In 2014, I also joined choir; well it was half forced! 😂 But it was an amazing experience. Countless of practices. Indeed, I realised that it is one of the valuable experiences as a college student.
 |
| Lighting surely makes difference! 😂😂 |
The rest of year was a breeze. Except this one time when I fell in love and my heart was broken. This situation was dragging until the end of 2014 but in a few months, I was blessed. In 2015, I met a guy who loves me that no one else ever does (except my family). I am ever so thankful that God crossed our paths because I almost didn't believe in love again.
In 2014 too, my heart finally opened for the teaching profession. I volunteered to help a friend for a teen camp and it changed my perspective ever since. I started to love teaching and helping pupils/students. Thank you, Afifah, for this chance.
 |
| Inspire Sea 3 camp in 2014 |
Mistakes or happy accidents?
2015 to 2016 was a time where I made a few friendship mistakes. Even though it was in the past, I still get thoughts about it. At this point, I was utterly depressed and didn't want to see anyone in my college for the accidents I encountered. However, this one guy helped me making it a little bit easier. My best friends Joey and Christine were always making sure that I was alright.
As my friends in college said, I didn't have friends. Maybe they were true, but I didn't care. I have a few and that's enough for me. I have a family who keeps reminding me; especially my mother and my sister; they are truly gold in my life. I have my significant other who would always make sure I am doing okay. I survived my final year despite many many incidents happened; as I said, what a roller coaster ride!
All these mistakes I have done, I now call them 'happy accidents'. Even though they are not that happy, but God surely wanted me to learn something from those 'happy accidents'. Today, I am mindful of what I listen & to whom I share my thoughts to. And no, I would never blame anyone for what happened because I believe each thing happened because God wanted us to learn something & tell I deserved second chances.
Of course, when I fell, some people took care of me when I was at my lowest. Kak Ngah, Joey and Christine, you are forever, in my heart. 💖
The death of my best friend
My furry best friend, Niki died right after my final paper in November 2016. I was planning to clean my room in college first, but dear Lord, I drove my car to home. He was my best friend since I was in primary school! When I was happy or sad, I always talked to him, as if he understood me. I cried, because I lost my best friend whom I knew he loved me so much.
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| Niki in 2012. (2005 - 2016) |
I miss you Niki.
New friend
In late 2015, a tiny furry friend came to my house. He came looking terribly sick. He was bitten by a dog as there was a hole on his neck! My heart couldn't take it. I brought him to the vet and treated him. Now, he is healthy and cheeky! Coco, made my loss of my best friend a little better. He understood that I have lost my best friend and when I was grieving, he came sat beside me. He also made my final year in college much more cheerful.
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| Coco 💗 |
Looking forward
Now, I have graduated. I am so thankful that I passed my depression phase, got a degree and become a teacher! Instead of frowning and being stressed, from now on, I will always count my blessings. 😊
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| My convocation day & later, my love's convocation day 💕 |
These college years in a nutshell; amazing! Yes, despite of everything bitter that I have gone through! I want to say thank you to each and every of my friends in IPG who had to deal or dealt with me, helped me in the slightest and probably had motivated me in any way possible. I probably do not mention your name here, but believe me, you helped me. And I want to thank you for that. 😚
To my parents; thank you for raising me up and never giving up on me,
To my sister; thank you for motivating me and inspiring me to become as diligent as you are,
To my brother; thank you for teaching me to become patient,
To my teachers & lecturers; thank you for always giving me what I needed, you guys are truly rockstars!,
To my best friends; thank you for comforting me with your jokes and waking me up with your insights,
To my friends; really, thank you for being there, even being there told me that we were all struggling but just with different struggles,
and
To my love; thank you for believing in me when others don't and for always pushing me to become a better version of myself.
💗
Happy birthday myself.
May you grow wiser, more patient, more hardworking and more faithful to your Creator. May you become ambitious as always. May you become a person who always gives more and forgives others first. AND, may you become the best teacher who is full of dedication towards teaching and educating children. :)
Thank you for reading! 💖
